Let’s talk gratitude. And believe me, me and her, we have a history together. One of my very fists spiritual practices ever was keeping a gratitude journal. I was doing it for over a year, later I was coming back to it for littles there and there. And it was always hard at first to come up with at least a few things to appreciate in my life that were turning into pages a few days later. You can call it “momentum”.
I was always told that I have to be happy for what I have first. And if I won’t be, I’ll never get anything better. than what I had. I know you heard that too.
If you think about it like that, it kind of makes sense, right? But sometimes…
Why will “gratitude” do any good to you?
It was 2016 when I wrote my very article on good and toxic gratitude. And because the word “toxic” is overused a lot lately, let’s clarify that I mean gratitude that does nothing good to us. Sure, test it yourself if you don’t believe me. Or simply realize that you know that already: Trying to be grateful for something you don’t want takes you from one drama to another one. I can see “good” sides of being one-handed for a week. And can find good sides to any crappy story that ever happened to me. But I’m not thankful for it. And since I’m not trying to search for blessings where there’s any, my life got pretty good.
(Notice also that. The fact that you not only can, but you do manifest things you don’t want means one thing: you DON’T have to be thankful for something first to manifest it. You only have to feel it as real. You can be thankful in advance. You don’t have to.)
I’m also not thankful for the things I don’t like, but others would appreciate. You know those “objectively” great things. If you’ll get me Ariana Grande concert tickets I won’t appreciate it. I won’t use them. How dare I since thousands of teenagers would get naked for it? You guess.
Going back to 2016 for a while. Back then I had this crazy blog with my graphics on. This is the one I made for that article:
The fun background story is, 5 years ago I had no idea about cashmere other than it existed and was too expensive for me. Now I don’t wear anything else in winter. And last month when I was shooting my newest photos I had cashmere pants on. And somehow, it got over 20 degrees (Celcius) that day. I felt like this graphic above. Melting. And at that moment I wasn’t happy to have my pants cashmere at all.
Tell me, how many times you were uncomfortable, killing yourself inside for hating the life/ job/ relationship you have and feeling so guilty thinking that it’s something wrong with you. you should be thankful because they are people who are poor/ dying/ lonely, basically in the worst situation than you? Seriously, how many times?
Too many. The answer is pretty much always “too many times”. So it’s true, someone else would be extremely happy having what you hate now. And that’s why you should let it go. Because only then they can have it. Think about it. Everyone can’t work in your company, in your position. Everyone can’t love the same movie. We possibly can’t all love the same things. And we all can’t be simply happy with what we have without wanting anything else. If that would be the case, our ancestors would never leave the ocean.
That’s why if you hate your job, I’m not here to help you like it. Not at all. I’m not into this kind of gratitude it case you missed the paragraphs above. If you hate your job leave it and let someone else be happy for having it. And let yourself be happy with what you want. (But I can help you become more joyful in your daily life, more focused on the things you actually genuinely like, and manifesting more of them easily. This topic we’ll cover in the upcoming Manifesting Joy Masterclass next week. Join it!)
Why authentic gratitude can be hard?
We are continually changing and continue fulfilling our smaller and bigger wishes. And we often miss our own manifestations. People tend not to see what is obvious. Especially when it comes to happiness. We tend to stop noticing it when it gets normal. And by “normal” I mean present in your life for a while. (Scroll up for Koti vs cashmere.)
And as a manifestation coach, I can see clearly one thing. Your desires are verbs. Always. Meaning you don’t want to just have something. You want to live it. That partner you want, you want to spend time with them, touch them and talk with them. That money you desire, you want to keep spending and using them to change your lifestyle. And so on. That’s what you really want. Living it.
And today, on Thanksgiving Day, I want you to make a very special gratitude list. Think about all your manifesting success stories. About things and people in your life that make it special. Things you love in the world and yourself FOR REAL.
People rarely celebrate themselves. Even I have that sometimes. After one success story and automatically want another and more and… But this way, life gets missed. Because there always can be more. There’s always “next” to something. And you know what? It always will be. But looking to the past and honoring where we are right now is life-transforming.
Because no matter what’s happening. No matter what is happening, maybe there’s some mess that you’re experiencing, (truth bomb, there always will be some mess. Even if those are only your sweet cats digging up the soil out of your plant pots.). The mess is never in every area of your life. (You might feel like it sometimes, but it’s never the truth). Focus on those areas of your life where it is better than it was, where you have your success stories. Yes, that can be even cats and plants.
Let me repeat myself. Skip being “thankful” for karmic lessons and broken fingers. Please, don’t write on the list of things you are manifesting, so you’re thankful in advance. Honor. What. There. Is. Already. You have your cashmere sweaters and you know what they are for you. Realize you manifest all the time and appreciate your former manifestations.
And when you have that list ready, check it and ask yourself, are you enjoying those things daily? Or since they are already there you put them aside “for the weekend”, for “after it’s hard”? I bet what you have now they are verbs too. Do you live at the beach as you dreamed of, but tend to not go there too often now? Do you have that partner with whom you’re only bored together living separate lives? Do you have a bathtub that was the main criteria when you were looking for a flat, and you also have a whole box of those colorful bath bombs, but there’s always something more important than relaxing in a bath? (Ups, looks like that one is about me…)
Challenge yourself for a week or a month. Make another list of the things (reminder: your manifestations) that you want to enjoy more. Put there going for a walk to the sea. Going for a date. Taking that bath. Make it 10 or 30 points. And start doing it, one by one.
And if you want to ask me, “Koti, but where’s manifesting in it?”. It’s here. If you ignore your past, wonderful manifestations and tend to put them aside, focusing on worries and lack of the next thing you chase. If you don’t enjoy what’s there to enjoy, then it’s sure you won’t be doing it with that next thing you want. So what’s even the point of manifesting it?
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