Yesterday I met with a friend. And FUCK (yes, I start this article with a big, bold swearword, but it’s so needed here!) she’s the woman who has it all. For real! She’s beautiful, she smart, loved with a magical man and they started to live together a few months ago. She has the money and the job, she was searching for for so long!
BUT. She doesn’t like that job so much and it consumes most of her attention.
Let’s talk about why it’s so hard to be happy.
(seemingly change of topic) I baked Christmas cookies on Friday. They didn’t turn out perfectly. Because of the meaning. I took an American recipe from Pinterest and it required me to mix together things like a cup of butter. I have no idea what “cup of butter” means. Because it’s not the same for liquid butter, butter in cubes, and putter well packed into a cup while soft.
If you’re American you probably roll your eyes right now. It’s basic knowledge!
But if you’re not, like me, then you probably wish to know how I solved that puzzle.
I used a measurements converter. Not the perfect one since the dough came out as too soft and wayyy too sweet.
And it started with me not knowing what “cup of butter meant”.
Do you know what does it mean to be happy?
Here I mean what does it mean to be happy FOR YOU? During the preparation of this article, I scoured YT searching for “happy songs”. Most of them are drama-focused! Do you remember, “don’t worry be happy?”, yep, that’s the standard. You have no money, no one loves you, someone robs you, and so on? Be happy! Fuck, how?!
Happiness is presented as the opposite of a well-known drama.
You know drama, struggles, and pain. You can name circumstances when you feel that way. Easy.
We are told when to feel bad.
Happiness seems to be the opposite of bad moments.
Here’s the problem. You ARE drama-focused.
Now scroll up to my friend. She’s a real person living in Katowice, Poland. She has so many great things in life. She has so many reasons to be happy you might say. BUT she’s not. She worries about her job situation. It’s secure, but she simply hates what she does. So she’s doing what she was learned too. She focuses there, on that thing that needs fixing.
Remember when you had all great grades on the school certificate except this one subject? And where was everybody focused?
How do you feel when someone says something great about your job but ends it with “BUT that and that is wrong”? It changes it all, right?
BUT. That’s why I type it with bold letters only.
So in practice, you’re never on the opposite to worry, because there’s always something to worry about. Even if there’s not, you’ll find something. Not that you consciously want to, BUT you do it habitually. It’s natural to you.
And then even if you have 99 reasons to celebrate, you’ll have this one to worry about.
Maybe it’s the evolution, because if you hunted a great meal, but there’s another creature wanting to hunt you, celebrating isn’t such a bad idea. Then being drama-focused seems to be a survival skill.
BUT there are not so many chances for you to be eaten in the digital XXI century.
You can train your focus to change that.
And here we are back with the meaning. So it’s “hard” to be happy, but again, what does it mean?
Often I get those emails, read FB posts like that, or that’s how 1:1 calls begin. A person tells me everything about their current circumstances including ALL THOSE details about what is. And… This is it. Often this is it, and the intention is to be guessed. And that is “I want something else!”.
Ok, here’s me Koti, manifestation coach and it’s my job to help you to
GET WHAT YOU WANT. BUT WHAT IS THAT YOU WANT?
Let’s follow it. If I’ll tell you I’m not on a keto diet, can you tell what diet I am on? If I don’t want to go to the mountains, then where do I want to go? If I don’t want to have debt, then what do I want my financial reality to be?
“Don’t worry be happy”… Some say “your subconscious doesn’t understand “no”‘, but it’s silly. It’s not about grammar. It’s about meaning again. ‘No pasta” is still focused on pasta and nothing else. What does “no pasta” mean? Is it “rice”? Not necessarily. “Don’t worry when ABD and DEF and XYZ, be happy”.
You know when to be worried. So when to be happy?
For a moment let’s leave the events and talk from an emotional perspective only. Is it being happy ecstatic, joyful, smiling, consumed by the happy event, or just still and grounded?
I KNOW what happiness is.
I answered those questions for myself. But the answers, my answers aren’t your answers. You have to answer those for yourself. And if it feels hard now, don’t worry (be happy) we’ll continue with the “how to be happy series”.
Do you want to be happier in your life? In the Manifesting Joy Masterclass, I teach you how to be happier with life and fill your days with more positive emotions. You don’t have to be happy first to manifest what you want, but you can manifest the happiest version of you. Sounds good? Get it here.