Koti Tea – manifestation coach

Everybody is yourself pushed out (again) and how to manifest a text from your ex.

There’s this urge to share with others what has changed our lives. And it applies to everything starting with a funny meme through cooking recipes to spiritual truths.
That’s what makes me post here. I tried some approaches and it did magic in my life. Still doing it.
So I want to share.

Identity-based manifesting

Some people out there don’t see anything special in the law of assumption and keep saying that it’s the law of attraction like any other. I strongly disagree. They base on different paradigms. (Here you find a full over 2h long Manifesting Principles Masterclass that explains the law of attraction’s unique rules and compares its approach to other manifestation teachings.)

Now I want to focus on two things that make a core of the law of attraction teachings and a core of my happiness nowadays.

My freedom “comes from” identity-based manifesting. I don’t attract stuff anymore. I become a person, who has certain experiences.

Example: I always loved house plants, but I wasn’t the best at taking care of them. They kept dying no matter what I was doing. That was since I decided to be that crazy plant lady. And plants started appearing in my life. Right now I live in a small jungle and it’s growing. It’s not about plants, I didn’t attract plants into my life. I became a plant carer and the rest „somehow happened”

Law of attraction / Identity based manifesting focuses not the stuff or on influencing others to do stuff, but to simply assume the end – the ultimate desire and dwell there. And as far I can tell, it’s always about being someone, about having a certain status.

Knowing that rocked my life. Knowing that always when I want something all I need is to ask myself who would I be having that and assume I already have identity is everything I need. That makes the thing I want „magically” appearing.

To that, I need an awareness of what am I actually already imagining, and who am I assuming to be. Wow! That makes the whole life so easier. When I started noticing the shit I had in my head I was shocked. I believed in certain things which were making me suffer. I believed they were true but they were only in my head. It’s simply about noticing what am I thinking, what am I feeling as true – what am I imagining about myself and life. It’s all about the meaning I attach to things, events, people.

They don’t have free will.

But it took me time to fall in love with that simplicity. Yes, I also started my journey with the law of assumption with the „me pushed out” thing and treating people like puppets. It was a big wow when I discovered it’s possible to control people like that. Because it is… But in the longer term, it’s no fun. It’s hell. And it will make you a psycho.

Certain people doing certain things are always just middles. Those aren’t things that we really want. At some point in my game with that, I got exhausted. I wanted too many people to do too many things. And it wasn’t leading to where I wanted. And it was psychopathic… treating all otheres like not-real people is fucked up. Don’t do that friends.

But when they have free will…

Yesterday my friend got me a muffin for breakfast. And I wasn’t manifesting a muffin. And for sure I wasn’t manifesting him buying me a muffin or buying me anything at all. But I dwell in a state of a good friend. And good friends give and being gifted all the time. I assumed this identity – I decided for being such around a year ago, and it has changed all of my relationships. Before I used to have a few, but seemingly deep relationships. That means I didn’t have so many people to talk to on a normal basis, and also that some things I was into, I was keeping only for myself, simply because no one else I knew was interested in those.

Right now I know a couple of times more people and I have way more people to reach out to anytime, just like that. Seemingly my relationships are more shallow, but it’s only an impression. Actually, they are richer, lighter and there’s way more joy in them. Before I was in close contact with just a few people. That was sometimes exhausting. It was a lot about them, a lot about me being accepted, and a lot about drama… Fun fact. To have „deep relationships” there needed to be some problems around to make it so. Especially if you believe – like I did – that real friendships need to be tested with drama… Oh crap. I needed help, they needed help or there was some trauma connecting us. Nowadays nothing of those is needed in my life anymore. I have a friend with whom I talk mostly about movies, mostly about plants, business, or simply stupid shit. I don’t need to have all the data about people and for sure I don’t need to know anybody’s dark side. And others are suddenly way more interesting for me than they have ever been before. And it’s so easy for me to reach out to new people.

My risk of rejection is gone.

Let’s finally talk about my ex

Recently I met my ex-fiance, whom I haven’t see for almost two years. We tried meeting the last winter… but I ran away. He came and did something to what I attached a huge meaning and made myself hurt again. I don’t want even to tell you what it was, because it’s so hilarious. Right now I’m laughing, but then all of a sudden in one moment all hurtful memories attacked me at once and I ran away crying.

That guy… I was never so happy before with anyone. Like with him there was more life in my life. I felt more alive. That was amazing… Until I made it about him – I made him the source of me being loved and happy. (Fun fact… Without him I’m also loved and happy… ) He was the most important. Honestly, at some point, I became a Gollum. I knew all his breathing patterns, so I knew exactly when he was happy, hungry, into sex, angry, or sad. I knew it from the way he was breathing. And I was trying to fit myself into his mood. So it went like if he wasn’t happy, I was freaking out and I couldn’t be happy also. And it wasn’t so easy for him to get happy again with someone like me around.

Yes, back then shit was going in my life. Shit I wasn’t able to deal with on my own, so to suppress that I focused on the “last good thing” that I had – him.
You already know what has happened then. He dumped me. But before got passive-aggressive giving me all the reasons to be sure he’s leaving me traumatized.

He dumped me… or not really me. And not really he. Back then my default mode was a spiritual new age witch, whose head was sorted by Bert Hellinger mostly. My life was a lot about healing, purifying, cleaning, and generally about waiting for permission for anything good. It was about rules. The rules I believed were vital and which I wasn’t able to follow. It was hell to be her. It was hell to be that old me.
So a few months later I dumped her also! Altogether with her accessories like tarot cards, boho clothes which were making me look like a Gummy Bear, and all that crazy philosophy.

That wasn’t me. That was only a state. An identity, the true me is consciousness – that thing that wears states. And seeing the world this way gives me freedom.
The got it and tested it in all areas of my life. The world responds to who I claim I am giving me exactly what I assume.

That text from that ex

I don’t have to hate him anymore. I don’t have to hate myself for anything I have done and anything I haven’t. When we met we talked a bit about that old drama, it was natural then. But as I let myself see him as him being just him everything changed. It was all of a sudden nice and natural to talk. I realized how much I missed „that him” all this time, even if it was hate-covered for way too long. So, I want to know him again, because there was something I felt around him again. And I want to explore it. A few days ago I sent him a message saying that I would like to meet again.

And he didn’t text me back. And it doesn’t hurt. It kind of does nothing to my feelings and makes a perfect teaching story for you. It’s not about him. It’s not a text from him I want. It’s not time with him I want. It’s not him around I want. It’s that feeling of life being more colorful, talking with someone fascinating, enjoying the time.

I’m not deliberately manifest anything around him or anyone else. Been there done that. And don’t want to do it again. I wrote it already. I’m manifesting being blissfully happy. I’m manifesting being fascinated. And that’s exactly what I will get. It will be there all together with this guy, or another guy, or maybe in an even weirder way. The “how” and the “who” don’t matter.

Let’s go back to my friend, who bought me a muffin when I wasn’t manifesting it. We used to live together and it happened in a quite crazy way. I wouldn’t be able to figure out this “how”.

When I decided, “yes, I want to live in this particular, specific flat” – the flat owner said no. No, because of my cat. He said no pets.
But I live there anyway, how?
I wasn’t doing it about this flat. I wasn’t doing it about the owner changing his mind. I wasn’t manifesting a message from him.

I was persisting in my assumption about living in a nice place I like (btw, that wasn’t the best approach, so don’t copy that). In other words, I didn’t care about his refusal. I knew where I chose to live and it wasn’t specific flat. It was a flat I enjoy. Effect? He reached out sometime later saying that he has changed his mind. Me and my cat were accepted.

And you know what? He gifted us (I mean me and my cat) a cat tree. For real. One day he brought it for us… Again, all of that is my manifestation. It all happened because of who I claimed to be and what I claimed to experience.

Others fit themselves to our states. They always confirm them.

Always start with an end

Trust me, I know that fear that if it won’t be that person, job, house, that special something, then I won’t be as happy as I want to. So I’m pushing to have that special thing… and I’m pushing because I’m afraid that I really can’t have what I want.

Right now I know for 1000% that going not for special things but for this level of happiness, joy, and satisfaction I wish to get from with my „special”. But nothing can give me my happiness, the world is me pushed out, remember? That means that the direction is opposite, its not that special thing giving me my happiness, it’s always me putting it there.

The world/ everything/ everybody is me pushed out. So concentrate on the pusher, not on the pushed. Go directly where you truly aiming, directly to that happiness that satisfaction, that joy you expect to have all together with your thing. And see what happens.