“I want to be in my desired state, but right now XYZ makes me angry.” – That’s a question someone just asked in one of the FB’s groups I’m a member. And because it’s a recurrent question, I want to answer it here.
And what to do when negative emotions show up?
States aren’t emotions. I will keep repeating that. Because that’s the key to easy, solid, speedy success. Emotions aren’t states. States have emotions. One state = multiple different emotions.
For 20, yes, for fucking long 20 years of my life I was dreaming about having a cat. I love cats! They are lovely!
So I dreamed about having one of them as mine for 20 years. For 20 years I was imagining that I can’t have one… So I didn’t. Simple.
And then suddenly I moved into “now I have” and BOOM. I got one.
It’s one of my most favorite ever success stories. Back then, it was 4 years ago, I had no idea about Neville, but I exactly remember this inner decision “NOW It’s time for me having my cat” and that magic that happened later. Back then I was playing poor and “spiritual vegan”, I didn’t really have money and didn’t want to admit that I dream about a Russian Blue cat. (This breed is as beautiful as expensive… And buying animals is not ok, at least I believed it then.)
That was my background. With all that behind I was trying to adopt some red cats. I lighted some candles and set some intentions for that… It didn’t work out. Adoption people decided that as a single poor girl I’m not the best cat keeper and they gave that one cat I was trying to get to someone else. And you know that? I was so decided, so faithful that “fuck, I have my cat, that cat, THE cat I was dreaming about for 20 years”, that when they said no… I had mine in the next few hours…
They said no=> I didn’t accept that => I opened the internet => I saw an advertisement from a lady giving away her half-breed Russian Blue cat baby, for free, with all the “accessories” like a cat litter box, toys, and even some food. All because of her child’s acute allergy… I was the first person who answered that ad. And I had my cat in the next few hours…
Was I peacefully happy-happy all that time? Fuck no! And “fuck” is here an accurate word. I hated that whole adoption process. Honestly, I was pissed most of the time. And It was pure anger when they said no. I wasn’t delightfully happy that I now own a cat. I was like “fuck, I was waiting 20 years already!!!”. And what I felt when I got my cat? Insecurity. It was a practice time to get to know each other.
But it didn’t make my cat disappear.
And what am I feeling now? Yes, I’m totally in love with that creature, but it’s an alive and nasty one… Sometimes I want to give her away… when she wakes me up in the middle of the night or destroys stuff. But still, it doesn’t make her disappear.
Don’t be fearful of emotions!!!
You can express your anger and be angry… while remembering that anger in the past. Or by knowing it’s not really important. That’s the beauty of Neville’s teachings. Any state has all the emotions. And even if I’m slipping off my chosen state for a while – that’s ok too!
I can lose my state of “proud cat owner”, and slip into “annoyed cat owner”. But the most important is, I am still a cat owner. And I know that I decide what state I’m in, so as soon as I notice it’s not my chosen version – here “happy and proud cat owner” – I move to what I’ve chosen.
Being in a state it’s a decision. As soon as you’ll get that your world will be changed forever.
Right now vs Always
And something that freed me… Knowing that something isn’t there RIGHT NOW – it’s not the same as – it’s not there at all.
I can miss my partner badly when he’s not home – but it doesn’t make him abandoning me unless I make it an “always thing”. He’s not there now and I miss him now, but it doesn’t change that I have my fulfilling, great relationship in general. Because “fulfilled, amazing partner” is a state I live from. I chose it for myself. And it’s not gonna change until I change this decision and my state.
I can forget my wallet and stuck hungry in public transport… without a ticket… fearful of control. But it doesn’t make me automatically poor having law problems.
Don’t fear living and don’t fear emotions!
You can be happy, happy positive all the time, and imagining riding a unicorn on a rainbow 15 times a day, but it won’t make a unicorn appear in your world.
What does? Staying faithful to “unicorns are real and I have experienced riding one already”. And you can be sad knowing that. Because sadness has no power in comparison to knowing that unicorns are the real deal.
Manifesting is living. So don’t make it extraordinary.
You were manifesting all your life. You exactly know how to do that! It’s a natural process.
Manifesting is like breathing!
There’s gonna be millions of “right nows” when you don’t feel like you want to. And that’s ok! It doesn’t matter! Just don’t make it your dwelling place.
My friend Jakub said to me one time:
“I don’t mind staying in my metaphorical depressed, dark cave. That’s ok till I don’t install a lightbulb there”.
And that’s brilliant. If you are RIGHT NOW, if I am sometimes FOR A MOMENT in a crappy state, there’s nothing to fight. You can’t possibly fight yourself out of a crappy state. I checked that on myself. I m p o s s i b l e. Don’t fight with that. Just don’t stay there for good.
Emotion is not a state. Mood is not a state.
We are constantly in multiple states. I’m not only a cat owner. I have many more identities – states I live from.
So while having unpleasant emotions it’s essential to notice where – what state they are coming from. Are you in all your desired states?
Is your emotion informing you that you lost your state? Which one?
Or it’s just a passing emotion that doesn’t mean anything more except you being an alive human being?
The state is knowing, not feeling emotion.