Koti Tea – manifestation coach

Everybody is you pushed out. The journey to manifesting the most epic relationships.

Everybody is you pushed out is the most famous concept across the whole law of assumption community. Numerous times I was asked “how to use it to manifest xyz?” and here’s the thing. You can not use “everybody is you pushed out” to manifest anything. Because it’s not a method.

Everybody is you pushed out is another way to explain how manifestation works. It is how manifestation works. It’s an explanation of why your life is like it is. 

Everybody and everything is you pushed out.

You don’t need a law of assumption coach to tell you that life is how you see it. Anybody will tell you that. You know it. But only until you start mastering your manifesting skills do you see very clearly, that that’s it.

When you change your state of consciousness, everything and everyone changes. And first, YOU change. Because changing the state is changing who you are. The same way travels and relationships change us, so we become a new version of ourselves.

And this (no surprise) is an article about relationships/ all inter-human connections. 

Is it also on manifesting specific people into your life? Sure it is!

Who is “you’?

But everybody is YOU pushed out doesn’t mean you can manipulate others and make them do anything you want. Unless not in a long run. Try it now and you easily notice it’s not how it works. People don’t do what you want them to.

And if you are not so new to the law of assumption you have already noticed that when you change your state, sometimes even what you want changes.

The “you” in everybody is you pushed out applies to the state you’re currently in. Others react to your state/ who you are and reflect that back to you.

Your state = you.

Important note: I believe that we are one consciousness experiencing life from many angles and perspectives at the same time. That means I believe you are real the same way as I am and that you have as much free will as I have. I see the multiverse as the multiverse of experiences, perspectives, and states, and no that there’s a line on which I’m a cartoon character. Some people disagree with this.

How I see this is, the moment you started wanting to read an article like this, the same moment I felt a need to write it. 

When I embody a story/ state, you embody that story and play your part. And when you embody a story, I play my part. For many years I wasn’t choosing the best characters for me. I used to believe things about myself that I’m creep, not likable, and “a problem”.

That had the other side to it that felt good, that I was special and chosen to be a karmic healer for my family.

A few lines earlier I said that others (and really everything in your reality) respond to your state / are pushed out by your state. If you see yourself as XYZ you will be treated as XYZ.

And you will manifest as XYZ.

That’s why when you focus on manifesting the thing alone, specific something aka 3D manifestation it’s so easy to end up disappointed. Because it will be pushed out by your current state. And if your state makes you identify as someone who “doesn’t have luck with love” and you want to meet something new, you will, but the relationship won’t last. Why? Because you don’t have luck in love, the breakup won’t even be a surprise for you. It might be painful, but it will be also natural and expected.

That’s how you create patterns in your life – you simply keep living and manifesting from one and the same state over and over.

People show up in your life based on who you are for yourself (aka your state)

There’s a story I was too ashamed to share for a very long time. I was once attached to someone, who not only didn’t love me, but someone who was emotionally abusive telling me the worst things about myself. And we were not even in a relationship. We were not seeing each other. It was long-distance texting, with someone who always had a word of hate for me. He was always there to tell me that there was something wrong with me. And things “like that”. 

Telling it straight: I was abused and humiliated by someone I cared for.

And that… That was my perfect manifestation. That time when I manifested / (pushed out) him I was going through one of the darkest periods in my life. I was still grieving after 2 important people to me has passed away. I had a progression of my liver disease and some other crap I couldn’t deal with. I couldn’t stand myself and I had suicidal thoughts.

And I wanted to have someone to love, to talk to, someone on my side. And this guy was always there for me. We talked about everyday life, dreams, teas, and art. He was also cruel. Only I did not see it this way, I mean I knew it was wrong and it hurt, but I felt like he was only stating the obvious things about me.

And as such, our connection was free from any fear that he could stop liking me or leave. He couldn’t hurt me, because hurting me was all he was doing. But he was there and as crazy as it is, maybe I’m still here (alive) because he was there around.

But that doesn’t mean that I’m grateful for this experience. I understand how and why this happened to me. But grateful? No way.

He played his part perfectly, he was my “someone to love” for the version of me, who hated myself deeply.

After discovering the law of assumption I revised everything that happened. I dared to give myself happy memories with him. And now they are the first things that come to my mind. And notice, it doesn’t mean that my old memories disappeared. They did not, but I don’t relate to them and they no longer hold any power over me. I know which memories are real, but those feel “dry”, I tell this story like a movie I saw a long time ago. And the new, “fake” memories are where I feel from.

Did my revising make us reconnect? No. That wasn’t my intention behind revising. Far away from my life is the best place for him.

This whole story, the story that was hunting me for over 5 years got absolutely, totally irrelevant.

Let me do a commercial break because if you want to do the same and give yourself freedom from whatever has happened you will be happy you got my Revision 101 Masterclass.

And if you need a deeper kind of work Powerful AF! program will turn you into a master of the law of assumption and manifesting based on states. Module 5 of Powerful AF! is dedicated to reviving your life with revision. (And module 4 there is all about manifesting the best people and the most fulfilling relationships into your life <3)

Your life reflects who you are

Have you ever noticed that what you want is not being loved? Some days ago I blocked my past client, who had his mind-blowing win thanks to working with me, and then forgot it was still his win. So he started sending me all those “assurances of love” messages that I didn’t want.

It feels great to love and to be in love, the hormone release that goes with it it’s what feels amazing. (If you struggle with falling in love too easily and you had a million relationships you may be physically addicted to those hormones.)

But being loved when we don’t love the person back doesn’t feel special and sometimes it even feels uncomfortable.

There was this time in my life, my whole 20s basically, when I was thinking that my feelings are unpleasant to others. I really thought I’m too weird and too different, from the way teenagers think about themselves, but I kept those assumptions for an exceptionally long time.

But knowing what Netflix, Disney, and DreamWorks release and what so many people identify with make me think I was not the only person in this world seeing myself as a creep.

After 2 years of coaching people, I know it for sure.

The truth is we all are way more similar to each other than we want to be.

What I thought about myself manifested in my acceptance to be abused.

And then in many avoidance behaviors:

I moved around at least 10 times in 5 years, between 2022- 2017.

Changed my job even more times.

Constantly changed people around me.

And was making sure I look weird enough so you could have an excuse to not like me as soon as you saw me. (ex. I wore only long skirts because only those weren’t blocking me from access to female energy. And so on.)

I was telling myself that I follow the Universe’s guide and do what’s needed to release my and my family’s karma. I was checking everything in my Tarot cards and using any excuse to start over. I know no one else who was starting life from scratch as many times as I did. Statistically every half year. Always with a new city, often a new country, with no money and no friends in that new place. And as soon as I was getting stable there, there was this “one and only chance” that was showing up AGAIN. So I was leaving everything behind and starting over AGAIN.

That’s how I lived in Beijing. And that’s how I came to Berlin.

I was addicted to new starts of having everything new. It’s easy to be a beginner. I mean it’s a great excuse to not engage deeply in anything.

I was running away and starting over every time any challenge would occur. And nothing scared me as much as being rejected. And still, what I wanted the most was love.

But love meant pain. To love meant being hurt and hopeless. The lack of “freedom” aka the ability to run away anytime, meant “confrontation” and vulnerability. But none of that is true about love.

And you know, after that story above I was sure that if someone doesn’t think all the worst things about me it’s only because they didn’t know me enough and haven’t discovered it yet. Or that they only wait to tell me “What, you thought it was for real? No way, you’re fat, stupid, and from Poland. Of course, I never loved you!”

It was living a life with a conviction that every time I heard someone laughing, they laugh at me.

It’s hard for me now to find the right narration to share this story with you. I can easily shift to identifying with that old me again. And it’s easy to be super judgmental as the “smarter” me.

Because even in this scenario I was happy, I was manifesting, I was that law of attraction coach on the side and there were many blessings in my life. Only they all fitted in the pattern I was living from. It was a circle of having it and losing it all to start over.

And telling it honestly, so many times I felt better than others because I was on my spiritual path to healing. You could laugh at my floral gypsy skirts, but I was the awakened one and you were going to hell…

I was chasing healing, but for real I was only imagining being broken.  The only thing that was making me special was my brokenness.

I was a perfect case for therapy, but instead, I did 15 Hellinger family constellations between 2015-2018. I mean I knew I had a problem with myself, but I was thinking that some more “shadow work” will help.

And many, too many rituals.

And so many meditations that I don’t know if there’s a name for this number.

And that was more-less the way I was managing all my relationships. I was choosing meditations and constellations over speaking for myself and expressing my feelings. I had this expression I used a lot whenever I was offered something: “I can want that” which often meant I was accepting anything I was offered doesn’t mean if I wanted it or not and I was asking for only what was available.

I took that hardcore in my first healthy relationship. As soon as he asked me for us to be official I booked another Hellinger workshop. And then I started obsessively reading his books when he started talking about marriage. My guy, not Hellinger.

Hellinger’s works were telling me similar things about myself to the first boy there: I was broken. My soul was stuck to death that’s why everything was always dying in my world.

(Now, because it’s fun. Go to this post and look at the windowsill, or go to my Instagram stories. Read this post about how my domestic jungle started. There was this time when I was constantly buying new pots of flowers because everything was dying with me. It truly is so broad. What we claim about ourselves – our states spread around and get materialized – pushes out what’s around us.

With this vulnerable story, I aim to be living proof of that and encourage you to risk and try it yourself.

The whole story there is “me pushed out” in action. I had an idea of who I am in life and my reality was arranged according to that.

And it looks so different now after I changed my story about who I am. So even my house plants are thriving.)

I had an autoimmune disease, so my immune system was attacking my body. It was making perfect sense to me that I was stuck to death. And there was a simple “fix” I needed to unstick myself and choose life. But no matter how many times I did the constellations, how many workshops I took part in, there was no “imprevement”. And I guess you already know why.

The worst that you can do to yourself, and one that you are probably already doing is to believe there’s something inside of you, but hidden from you that blocks you from happiness.

And the thing is… that’s any block. It’s only you inventing weird AF reasons why you can’t have something. So you do (I did) all the cleanses, Hellinger, and paolo santo to “heal that” but nothing helps.

Here’s the part for some justice for Bert Hellinger as his work did help many people. They knew when to stop, at some point they assumed “it helped, my life will be better now”. I never did this part.

In the same way, there are people in the manifestation world who keep imagining scenes and doing other techniques, but they are never done with it. They never assume “it’s done”.

Why? Because if I would do it, if I would assume I have nothing more to fix, my life would end. The story I lived from for such a long time would have to change.

And it’s true. I finally did it. And everything changed. People, money, and even plants in my life responded to my new state.

So it’s not that Hellinger’s teachings are so bad. It was how I approached them that hurt me.

What would you do if your partner who was talking to you about marriage the same week suggested the break up out of the blue? Because I moved out. I wanted to make a big drama, that would make him beg me to come back like in all those romantic comedies I saw too many of. Those if which a guy paralyzes the airport to stop that one plain and stop her from leaving… Only I had no plain ticket bought so it didn’t work out like I wanted to.

Before the break up I was daily writing my affirmations. What I was writing? “I am safe. Love is safe. I am safe.” I kid you not. I’m sorry for your keyboard if you just split on it. 

The more I was repeating those the less safe I actually felt. And it’s not a surprise. In what real-life situations do we say to ourselves that we’re safe? Is it when we’re or think we’re in danger? Bingo! Do you know when was the last time I repeated over and over “I am safe”? It was on a roller coaster…

Because you know, this was a great relationship. I loved the talks, laughs, and dramas, and that he smelled like home to me. I think we were both happy then. I only had no idea how to accept the idea of lasting, being happy, and not fixing anything. Did I mention I decided to do a Hellinger workshop as soon as I got into a relationship? Like… I mean what even for?

I was so terrified I could lose him that when I did I felt the hugest relief. Rejection? Starting over? Those were the things I had how to manage, what to do and how to live in this scenario. Happiness and being loved were big mysteries to me. And when problems showed up I couldn’t deal with them. The worst thing is those weren’t problems with relationship and they weren’t mine, they were ours.

But I wasn’t communicating my needs enough, I did rituals, affirmations, and even more Hellinger. I needed a doctor and another job.

For a long time after the break-up, I desired to get from him this 3 words text that says “I miss you”. I’m not going to hide it, I don’t want to be ashamed of having any feelings again. There’s nothing shameful in the fact that I truly loved him. 

I still miss him. He’s a great guy. Not like I’m miserable without him, but I smile when I think about him. Many of my most epic memories have him in them. For a long time, I couldn’t even remember them, I was so stuck on one painful memory. I was robbing myself of this relationship this way. And it was earlier this year when I reached out to him to tell him about it. Quite awkward maybe. But I did so much hiding my feelings and pretending I didn’t care in my life, that this action brought me a crazy sense of freedom, and relief. It’s such a relief to feel what I feel without needing anyone’s permission. I told a guy whom I miss that I miss him and I finally acknowledged how much our relationship meant for me.

Manifesting fixes, middles, and specific things is stupid

Here’s why: Let me share with you one of the most mind-blowing manifesting wins I ever had. (And at the same time, the biggest failure). I manifested the perfect guy into my reality.

Ladies! I have the address. Hit me a DM if you want his telephone number!

I took a piece of paper and a pen and “designed him”. I pointed out all of the desired features from how he looked to what movies he liked. And I met this exact guy a few weeks later.

And he was exactly like I wanted him to be. So crazy. Plus one thing. Our connection turned out to be as dispassionate and boring as the list itself was. Did I want features? I got features. But was I imagining being in love, passion, intimacy, and all that? No.

I wanted brown eyes and I got brown eyes…

You see, I did this again. I manifested him from the “wrong” state. I was after a breakup and I wanted a quick fix. A “perfect guy” who will be exactly as I think he should be, so nothing would go wrong. 

And nothing went not only not wrong. Nothing went nowhere at all.

He stayed in my life as a friend.

This manifestation taught me a lot about myself and about what I truly want. And the biggest lesson was… I’m not into lessons anymore. Human 3D life is limited and I might be unlimited as God, this God we create altogether. But as Koti/ Kasia/ Katarzyna I have less than 100 years to live. And I can or keep discovering what I want or actually get it. That choice was the easiest for me. 

The best things I learned about discovering my deepest desires and reaching for more and more I packed into Limitless Fulfillment (former Bootcamp). Repacked, refreshed, and enriched, the program starts on the 19th of July.

Your desires are your limits

This was a few years ago and during this time I tried to make myself in love with him this 3 times. I used all the manifesting tools I know. The first time I tried as hard that I couldn’t stand him at all and it turned out to be drama. Two other times were only not effective. And you know, I see myself as a pro with manifesting. And I had great results in changing my feelings about things. My favorite success story was making myself tolerate the taste of tomatoes. I imagined myself eating them after years of tomato trauma and I started eating them just like that.

Surprise. A human is not a veggie.

But choosing who I like or love and who don’t was my limit. In other words, I can’t choose my desires, they are divine in origin. It means I can’t change them. If I want something I can only manifest it or feel the lack of it. But I don’t choose what I want.

And do it works for you. What you want is permanent until you’ll fulfill it. If you became a lawyer because your parents wanted you to, and you secretly hate this job your whole life, you won’t succeed in manifesting loving that job. But you do can manifest loving your job. And… that will be another job.

Manifesting your specific person 

There’s a huge movement inside of the law of assumption that is all about manifesting a specific person for romantic purposes. It’s so popular that new people coming to the law of assumption sometimes think it’s all it is about. People ask how to know which ex should they manifest back or if it’s possible to manifest love when they don’t have anyone specific in mind. 

The honest truth is manifesting people was also how I started. I came to the law of assumption from the world of “standard” spirituality full of karmic, energetical, demonic, and just all kinds of threats. Manifesting specific people doing specific things? OMG it’s demonic! Such karma is never going to get heald… And here suddenly someone was telling me it’s possible and safe. So I went all in. 

It was working. (And it was this time around when the guy from the list showed up.)

So why I don’t do it anymore?

Because micromanaging was making me crazy and obsessed. It was such a work! And it required so much thinking about who should do what…

It got hard. I wasn’t getting the results I wanted. Or I wasn’t getting results at all.

I was going nowhere and I was still same far from living the life I truly wanted. 

There’s this word “middle” again. Middle in manifesting is anything that’s partially what we want or seems like a step/ condition towards it. In general, wanting to manifest anything specific that we think would make us happy, it’s reaching for the middle.

Have you noticed how many specific person manifesting stories end with “I don’t want this person anymore”? For me, it looks like most of them.

Why? From what I see after 2 years of working as a manifestation coach most of you who struggle with manifesting a specific person doesn’t want this person at all. It’s like when I wanted to make myself in love with the guy from the list, it was based on the foundations of “we like the same things, he’s so handsome, he’s already in my life”. No genuine feelings towards him. And he’s a great guy, truly. He deserves better than someone choosing him only because he’s “already there”. And I deserve better than taking someone only because that’s easy. What seems easy often isn’t.

Are you trying to do the same? To make the relationship out of not what you want?

The most popular advice that’s there for those trying to manifest someone specific is that you have to start with reinventing them. So you have to turn them into something they’re not. But it’s just me or does it mean that it’s not them who you want?

Or maybe you want to manipulate.. ehm.. manifest people out of a victim state? I know something about it… Deep down you want to be validated and finally, feel like you matter?

Or you want to make someone obsessed over you as an act of revenge for leaving you or hurting you. You wanting to get him to leave him and make him suffer as you did… If you have a “yes” here, then what state of consciousness/ who you are that you want it?

In the introduction, I wrote that after we change state what we want might change. Then I wrote that desires are permanent. Both are true. Your true desires are permanent, middles change.

That abusive guy I mentioned earlier? I once wanted him in my life, so desperately I was ready for everything only to keep him. It was because “I wanted love”. Now still want love, but there’s no way I will let anyone like that again into my life.

Do I want him to text me every day now regretting how he treated me? No. I don’t think about him at all. And that’s beautiful.

I manifested all my SPs back

During the last two years all the people who were important before, but we lost contact because of arguments or me running away to live in another country, came back to my life. And my best friend from my childhood is back one of my best friends even if we haven’t spoken to each other for a decade. I don’t remember how it exactly happened that we started talking again.

And the epic moment was finding a friend with whom I totally lost contact and had no idea what was happening to him in my youtube recommendations. 

This whole manifesting thing really works in the craziest ways. I have the most mind-blowing SP wins.

But I don’t focus on manifesting anyone specific anymore. I know they will be there.

The truth is. People were leaving my life not only because of them or circumstances. And even when it was because of my imagination. People were leaving my life also because I was hurting and mistreating them, being emotionally avoidant. Or because I was thinking I was better than them for being more spiritual. No one would give me an award for being the best human being.

Here’s another “sad” story from living in my old state. I desired to go camping, canoe trips, and survival events. And had no one to do those things with me, so I wasn’t doing them. A girl doesn’t sleep alone in a forest or at least I didn’t want to.

Now, this summer you can see me doing those things a lot. All of those desires woke up within me and this time I have perfect people around me as a company.

I always have perfect people around me now. I don’t affirm it, it simply is so. 

How I go about manifesting people is a different mental space now. I refuse to chase people. I choose to take care of them. 

And there are people I don’t like. I let myself bitching about them. I’m finally giving myself permission to feel what I feel.

And you know what, there’s a lot, lot and lot of love there.

What is a state? I shared with you 3 very different stories manifested from the same state. Because it didn’t matter if I was calling myself a creep or spiritual healer or any other way, how I saw the world and as I saw my place in it was basically the same.

The state is how you feel. You have to capture it “energetically”. How you name it doesn’t matter.

So if you have to manifest that one person and any other and make them say the things you want… Then I’m not a coach for you. And you probably didn’t make it to the end of this article. But if you want to get back to your life and fall in love with it, I know some good stuff about making it easy for you.

Here’s how we can work together:

Limitless Fulfillment 5 weeks manifesting accelerator to reach for more and bolder without limiting yourself in any way. (Let’s ditch anything you call a block.)

Powerful AF! 4 months deep manifestation course to take you from confused to master by helping you discover your natural manifesting style. I talk about having results every time.

Or reach out to me to talk about 1:1 coaching.